Sara Inoue

Today is the last day that we are able to work on our brochure. we finished all of our paragraphs and used lextutor and analyzemywriting to see the level of our paragraphs. Our average percentage of AWL and RL were a little higher than we expected. however, the percentage was different depending on the pargraphs and we had to add more ATL words to higher the percentage. Overall, we Found out that we needed improvements on our ATL score more than our RL. The last step was to do the final check and search for any mistakes. After doing all of the checking we finally moved on to paying all of the text onto canva to finish up the brochure.

title and references  an app called paperrater to check the grammar and spelling mistakes. lextutor to analyze the writing. all the places we went online, we have to put in the references. p For the title, we found out that there needs to be two parts and we first started off by coming up with a title. The first part summarizes our topic and what our group is aiming for in this project and the second part is more detailed. Later on, we realized that our team members' name should be under the title and then moved it down the middle of the google doc page. The reference page includes all the websites and sources that were used for our research.

thesis statement one sentence that explains the whole paper 3 parts topic claim solution On this day we talked about the thesis statement of our brochure which is the last sentence of our introduction. our problem was that there were still personal pronouns and we weren't able to have a clear topic as well as three good reasons to support the claim. The last sentence had to be separated into 3 parts which are the Topic, Claim, and Solution. out topic was about the changes that were in need for efficiency and solving the issues to create a more easy and safe environment was our claim. The solution to this is that we had to understand the problems and other consequences that it may lead to. Mr.Paterson also mentioned how the sentences should be a good length and use shorter descriptions rather than using many words to describe one certain thing.

conclusin summary (four main points each from the 4 sections) conclusion (why people should care) limitations On this day we talked about writing the conclusion paragraph for our brochure. Our group first started working on the summary and each thought of the most prime part of their section. We combined all four of the points and created a summary section for the conclusion paragraph. moreover, by adding the consequences of the problems, we were able to express that people should care more and how big of a deal it is. For the limitation section, we talked about what we were not able to do and what improvements were needed. The last sentence of the final paragraph should be impressive and leave the reader with a feeling that they need to do something.

Today we worked on improving the paragraphs for our brochure. I was surprised to see that my paragraph was filled with personal pronouns and had a few phrasal verbs. After changing all of the personal pronouns I noticed how the paragraph was mainly about "us" and how "we" worked towards the topic, but after removing all of them the topic and theme became the most important part.  Mr. Paterson explained how the word count is very important and cutting the sentences short makes a big difference. We shortened a sentence that was written on the whiteboard. although we were able to cut the sentence down to a few words the prominent part of the sentence was not included after becoming short.

   Tuesdays class started off with Mr.Paterson talking about classic five-paragraph essays. He mentioned that there is usually a title, introduction, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. He then explained each section thoroughly with all the details on what would be the best style and way to write a five-paragraph essay.    Next, we worked on our brochure and mainly the writing and paragraphs.  Our group each split into the sections that we presented and wrote a few ideas on how to make the explanation of each problem to be clear. There are four of us in group 1 and we decided to give each person a section to improve and check the issues together in the next class. We are working on making a brochure that allows the readers to have an idea of what we were researching and include some basic information.